End of an era

All hail the Godfathers. It's not every day we get genre creators, much less major genre creators, and even less that we get major genre creators who produced a body of work that stands amongst the finest of a century of music.
 
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I'd heard The Beatles, I'd heard Bach, I'd heard Motown, James Brown, and Beethoven, I'd heard The Sonics, The Who, Jimi Hendrix, The Ventures, Music Machine, old blues tunes, The Doors, even The Amboy Dukes, MC5, and The Stooges, but nothing on Earth could've prepared me for the unholy racket that would burst off my record player when I chucked on the Paranoid vinyl. I'm even luckier my parents weren't home at the time, because they'd have thought I was communing with the Four Horsemen of The Apocalypse in my bedroom. Two days later, I hustled back down to the record store, and nervously, almost like a smackhead looking for his dealer, asked if there was anything else by the band in question. He handed me the eponymous debut. My life has never been the same. I know, I've told this story before, but fuck it.
 
I can only imagine the look you had on your face when you heard the first track. :tickled:
I was a little more adjusted because I'd spun Paranoid a couple times by then, but holy cow, that opening riff. Like you said, my face must've been priceless. The rain and church bell were unsettling as it was, then he pounds out the first chord of that flatted fifth devil's tritone, and I just about shit myself. I was frozen, then Ozzy's startling unorthodox howls and Bill's tribal drumming burst through, it was legitimately terrorizing. I actually had to stop the needle after the first song had played to humanly process what I'd just encountered. It took me about a week before I had the balls to put it on again and listen all the way through.
 
I was a little more adjusted because I'd spun Paranoid a couple times by then, but holy cow, that opening riff. Like you said, my face must've been priceless. The rain and church bell were unsettling as it was, then he pounds out the first chord of that flatted fifth devil's tritone, and I just about shit myself. I was frozen, then Ozzy's startling unorthodox howls and Bill's tribal drumming burst through, it was legitimately terrorizing. I actually had to stop the needle after the first song had played to humanly process what I'd just encountered. It took me about a week before I had the balls to put it on again and listen all the way through.
I love how Robert Christgau called it "bullshit necromancy" when I heard pretty much everybody I spoke to about the album talk about how grim and twisted it sounded when it first came out. Doesn't sound like bullshit to me. Hell, when I listened to it in the 2000's I thought it would sound like Blue Cheer or some shit but it sounded otherworldly. I was stunned by how ahead of its time it was, even as a kid.
 
Christgau is the dictionary and academic embodiment of hackiness, for all I care he could be run down by MLRS fire after being removed from a pit of South American death hornets after five days. Very few were genuinely unfazed by that thing. I was 14 or so at the time, so it really melted my mind. It was as if the Devil had ascended to Birmingham from Hell to show us how rock and roll was really done.