Typical embittered midlands metal fan eh? Ever lived in London? No, thought not because you have a rosy picture of the scene here. (BTW I'm from Manchester, originally).
There are a small number of pubs/clubs catering for metal/goth/nu-metal types in the greater London area - thats 8Million people remember. You'd be hard pressed to find a different venue for each night of the week and then you'd be travelling back and forth acrosss the metropolis to reach 'em.
Yeah, there are gigs of most types on, most nights of the week, but there is a huge amount of shite and cover-band crap. There are a couple of small, dingy London clubs that play some 'metal' (and I use the term loosely) at the weekend and that's it. Most 'metal' fans who turn out for the likes of Maiden, but who never bother to watch smaller acts, would rather be at home with a 6-pack in front of the TV/Video/DVD.
The majority of events which feature in the likes of Kerrang!, Metal Hammer etc, take place with an audience of a few hundred kids and a bunch of old liggers. Hardly a picture of a healthy, vibrant scene, is it?
As for fans at metal gigs in London being friendly, the real reason is that most of them are not from London anyway. EG Iced Earth - 700 sell-out gig, but there were loads of Greek students (the guys making all the noise), people from Scotland, Manchester, the Midlands, the South etc. The guys I meet up with at gigs are from New Zealand, the States, Belgium etc and even the guys from 'London' probably live out in Essex, Surrey or Berkshire.
You have a bunch of venues in the Midland area and according to what I'm told by bands, the main nights of the week/weekend are reserved for cover bands. Acts playing their own music might be lucky to get a slot on a Sunday/monday night. No wonder acts don't bother going there. Only the Rock City in Nottingham and Rios in Bradford seem willing/able to drag the big/not-so-big names out into the provinces.
However, if folks were willing to forgo the odd night in front of the TV with a take-away and actually got their arses out to gigs/clubs, then promoters would be willing to book the bands.
For example a 6-700 capacity venue costs best part of £1500 to hire before the lights, tickets, publicity etc. If you then only get 2-300 people paying a tenner, then you are going to lose money aren't you?