Cythraul is an old school Metalhead like myself and Jean-Pierre, it seems. Likewise, I've experienced a similar experience through the course of the years.
Starting off with Metal when you're young and developing your tastes on your own off of message boards is probably a major part of this whole experience. Back when I was 9, Metallica's Ride The Lightning was some pretty intimidating stuff, with the massively heavy riffs, the chants of "Die! Die!", the hellish vocals, and the general aura that it communicated being a bit overwhelming - in a good way.
Though I've only been exposed to more extreme styles of Metal for about 6 or 7 years, I still felt that mystique about it. This was when I was first starting to explore Metal via the internet, and this other kid who was growing on a similar path told me to get some Burzum and Mayhem. So I got the first full lengths of each band, and once I was able to get into them, I was overwhelmed. I felt as if I was listening to things that I shouldn't be listening to. I was innocent then, and these strange, evil men were warping my mind through sound. Going back and listening to these records now, I do not feel that same initial otherworldly shock that I first did, as if I was listening to something wholly unearthly. However, I have built several new connections to them over the years that have replaced that initial aura that originally drew me in. I feel a sense of nostalgia and an image of that first reaction that I had to Ea, Lord Of The Depths and Kaatharian Life Code; it still impacts me, but it does not overwhelm. I feel now that I am a listener outside of the experience, while when I was young, I was a listener inside of it, and felt as though I couldn't get out. It terrified me, and it was good. Today, I still feel the sense of terror, but in a passive, objective, analytical way, and that draws me in more today.