LICH KING - is this for real?

[JayKeeley]

LICH KING

Formed in 2004, in some shithole in Massachusetts

"East Coast Bay Area Thrash" <- LOL

A Fucking Tyrannosaur - Vocals
Rambo - Lead Guitar
The Hulk - Rhythm Guitar
Darth Vader - Bass
Hulk Hogan - Drums

Album: Toxic Zombie Holocaust

From myspace: "brutal new thrash for fans of Exodus, Dark Angel" etc etc

....subsequently followed with the song:

"Black Metal Sucks"

Over there in Norway, the churches all burn down
Let's go dress in goth clothes and get painted like a clown
Awesome leather armbands with spikes like two feet long
Hair is parted down the middle, frowning like a frog

In league with the devil, talking Satan, skulls and hell
Making mommy mad, cause that's original
If you hate good music, then it can't hurt to go
Image-conscious assholes, black metal fashion show

I hope that you get hit by a bus. Why?
Black metal sucks
Careful not to smear your makeup
You suck
goth clothes and frowns, just like we discussed
Black metal sucks
Auuuuuuuuuugh What?
You suck

Blacke Foryst of Despayr, taking photos of the band
Put 'em up on myspace you're the envy of the land
Posing with a battleaxe and grimacing with hate
When you're done with this, figure skating at the lake

The music is best, it's got the hardest metal sound
Quickly riffing on one note is certain to astound
Dimly echoed drumming and some goat heads to distract
From the terrible screeching that you pass off as your act

I wish your black clothes would combust. Why?
Black metal sucks
You know what dude, you look like a schmuck
You suck
Singer sounds like a wounded duck
Black metal sucks
I'd rather listen to... us
You suck

You know how I know you look like a fool?
Lich King rules
We're the best band and we're super cool
We rule
Straight from the 80's and we're old school
Lich King rules
Running out of rhymes, so wading pool
Thrash is the rule

x 1 bazillion

They've even got a song called "thrash resurgence" hahaha

 

[Evil?]

I had heard of them but never actually heard them. Will check out the link in a moment.

 

[JayKeeley]

It's got to be a fucking joke

this retro-metal trend is awful, I don't even get the irony in it

 

[Evil?]

Anyone who plays any genre of music to be ironic is a fucking douche. These retro Thrash acts are really bad though. It's like none of them actually listened to thrash until recently and they thought it would be a fun thing to do.

Edit: Ya know what else is annoying? All these new thrash acts singing about how they are Thrash acts.

 

[Dark One]

LOL @ the notion of thrash metal (in general) making fun of black metal (in general). That's like She's the Sheriff bagging on Three's Company's ability to be funny.

 

[JayKeeley]

Anyone who plays any genre of music to be ironic is a fucking douche. These retro Thrash acts are really bad though. It's like none of them actually listened to thrash until recently and they thought it would be a fun thing to do.

I think perhaps a lot of these folks were hoping to end up in a metal-core band but once that "post wave of nu-metal" bullshit died out, this retro renaissance occurred and half these musicians got 'stuck' playing old school thrash.

The other half ended up in that "post-Lord of the Rings 'DragonForce' meets 'Children of Bodom'" element and signed up for the Pagan Metal fests.

I actually think that "Black Metal Sucks" song is for real by the way. But since the band will have disappeared in 6 months, it's not likely going to come back to haunt them.

 

[EricT]

This fucking retro thrash movement is still not gone? What the fuck is it going to take? I've written angry letters!

 

[JayKeeley]

What's worse:

retro thrash

or

Eluveitie

LOL @ NWOJFM

 

[Dark One]

Ugh... tell me about it.

I truly hope HIV or any potential further installments don't cater to it.

 

[einride]

thrash metal sucks

 

[lurch70]

did any of you into thrash listen to EVILE out of the UK yet??? best of this new crop of bands

http://www.myspace.com/evileuk
take a listen to "Armoured Assault"

I think most of you will dig them ...

 

[EricT]

What's worse:

retro thrash

or

Eluveitie

LOL @ NWOJFM

Imagine a tour that had Elushitty and Lich King co-headlining... Now imagine being strapped to a chair right in front of the PA.

Did you shiver? I did.

 

[JayKeeley]

Ugh... tell me about it.

I truly hope HIV or any potential further installments don't cater to it.

Although to be fair, had Eluveitie come out in circa 2000, I would have probably liked them a lot more

From their myspace: "Eluveitie clearly belongs to the fastly growing "Pagan Metal" scene, anyhow brings some "fresh wind" into it: Eluveities sound is authentic..."



Either way, this retro-thrash thing is diabolical and muchly worse than the likes of Wintersun or whatever

 

[einride]

do you realize that the band name is taken from world of warcraft

i'm sure you are but just checking

 

[skeptik]

There are a few good bands you know. But yes, 99% of it is an insult.

 

[einride]

i'm glad lethal was started a couple of years before this whole stupid fad shit got rolling back in the land of uncle sam because at least we can say we're not part of the myspace faggots who think they're 1986 because they got ed repka to draw a fucking cover

listen to protector and SHUT UP

 

[JayKeeley]

do you realize that the band name is taken from world of warcraft

i'm sure you are but just checking

oh yeah

So they've computerized world of warcraft have they? I bought a set of figures once with the paint etc....to this day that box sits collecting dust.

 

[einride]

oh yeah

So they've computerized world of warcraft have they? I bought a set of figures once with the paint etc....to this day that box sits collecting dust.

that would be warHAMMER
i'm ashamed that i even know this much about nerd shit like wow and wh but it's kinda hard to avoid sometimes

world of warcraft is pretty much the worst invention in the history of mankind but hopefully it will weed out some of the weakest links of humanity since people who play online games all day will hopefully die and certainly never breed

 

[JayKeeley]

ah I see

 

[Evil?]

You must be thinking of something else, becasue Warcraft has always been a computer game. Warhammer perhaps?

edit: Damn, ninja'ed. Now I look silly.