Metal Way to Save the Princess

[Formerly known as Chris F5]

HEAVY METAL:
The protagonist arrives on a Harley Davidson, kills
the dragon, drinks some beers and fucks the princess

GRIND METAL:
The protagonist arrives, screams something completely
undecipherable for about 2 minutes and then leaves...

POWER METAL:
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn,
escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and they make love in an enchanted forest

THRASH METAL:
The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the
princess and fucks her....... easy and quick

FOLK METAL:
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing
accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon
falls asleep (from all the dancing) protagonist leaves without the
princess

VIKING METAL:
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his migthy
axe, cooks and eats it, pillages the princess
and the castle, and burns the place before he leaves

DEATH METAL:
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the
princess and kills her, then leaves

BLACK METAL:
The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon
and impales it in the front of the castle.....then sodomizes the
princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her.....then he
impales the deflowered princess

GORE METAL:
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads
his guts in the front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills
her....then he fucks again her dead body, slashes her belly open and eats
her guts, fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and
fucks it for the last time

DOOM METAL:
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon
and thinks that he never could beat him, gets depressed and commits
suicide....the dragon eats his body and the princess as well

PROGRESSIVE METAL:
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo
for 26 minutes, the dragon kills himself out of boredom, the
protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques learned in the last year of the conservatory... the
princess escapes, and is now looking for the "HEAVY METAL" protagonist

GLAM METAL:
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the
guy's appearance and
lets him enter, he steals the princess' make-up and
tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color

INDUSTRIAL METAL:
The protagonist arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes
an obscene gestures towards dragon, and gets escorted out of
fairy tale land by security guards.

 

[RiffDaemon]

PROGRESSIVE METAL:
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo
for 26 minutes, the dragon kills himself out of boredom, the
protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques learned in the last year of the conservatory... the
princess escapes, and is now looking for the "HEAVY METAL" protagonist

 

[J-Man]

Only the sick mind of Rifkin could come up with this, but dude that was funny huh.

 

[Magius]

That's been posted here a couple of times over the years, but it's still pretty funny.

 

[booB]

the only genre that has princesses is power metal.

 

[Bryan316]

"HEAVY METAL:
The protagonist arrives on a Harley Davidson, kills
the dragon, drinks some beers and fucks the princess"

The Harley and the beers is absolutely accurate.