In a nutshell, my band has grown to where its a 3/2 split between 5 members...Three of us (one of them being myself) have been all about our music, trying to further ourselves in every aspect of being a musician and trying to take the most conducive and professional route we can towards pushing our band out there, all while having families and real jobs and real lives.
The other two members have been using the band as a vehicle for attention to impress thier friends, have not really cared whether it be that we write music or play shitty covers like everyone else in our town: they just like the attention and the partying. They are musically lazy, either waiting for someone else to write and/or record thier part and basically take credit for it afterwards. They work minimally and thier living spaces are provided for them by thier parents...usually only maintaining a job so they can buy a couple groceries and blow the rest on beer/drugs.
The 3 of us have decided we need to move on. In the past, we tried having band meetings to where we would lay on the table what was bothering us. Sure, they just became bicker fests, but it would usually come to where there needed to be a compromise on the situation...unless the issue involved these two. They would be in complete denial, or just try to change the subject or shift the blame. When blame wasn't transferrable, at least one of the two would then become agressive, trying to impose dominance by cocking a fist or something of the sort. Usually, this made the subject get dropped in hopes of calming the mood down, but in the end, it would just get swept under the rug. Over time, it has gotten to where we can't bring up issues with these two. We tried the middle-man approach, where if I had a problem with my bassist, I'd ask my other guitarist to mention to him that I was bothered by what he did, in order to make it be conveyed with a little less attitude. The response became "whatever" and no remorse was shown. By the way...these two are the oldest members of the group, one being in his early 30's and the other in his early 40's, yet both are fry heads because they have not matured past a partying high schooler's mental capacity.
So...it has, over several months, grown to where the 3 of us have decided to part ways with these guys. Since we can't bring up simple matters with them, we have been trying to decide how to conducively do this without it becoming a fist fight. We put the band on hiatus, mostly to try to have some time to formulate a plan, but it's come to when those two are asking "So when does our hiatus end?". All three of us just had kids this year, we all have constricting schedules. Having some time off has been helpful at home, but it will be inevitable when we have to pull the plug on our drummer and bassist.
So far, our plan goes as follows: Since we cannot 'point a finger' at either of these guys without it going south, we decided we'd place the weight on ourselves. The plan is that the three of us quit in succession, leaving those two by themselves. Then, a few months down the road, when we feel the time is right for us, we come back with n00bz in thier place, album recorded and ready to go, all the works. I came up with the band name/logo/merch/myspace/bookings/etc and our other guitarist wrote 75% of the music with me writing the rest...so the rights go to us anyways.
The idea isn't that we are afraid of them, or at least I'm not...I just don't want to fight. If it came down to fisticuffs, then I guess thats where it goes...but I'm more or less trying to avoid that to be mature.
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Does anyone think this is just plain silly or would you do it the same given you experienced the same situation? Any input is appreciated.
The other two members have been using the band as a vehicle for attention to impress thier friends, have not really cared whether it be that we write music or play shitty covers like everyone else in our town: they just like the attention and the partying. They are musically lazy, either waiting for someone else to write and/or record thier part and basically take credit for it afterwards. They work minimally and thier living spaces are provided for them by thier parents...usually only maintaining a job so they can buy a couple groceries and blow the rest on beer/drugs.
The 3 of us have decided we need to move on. In the past, we tried having band meetings to where we would lay on the table what was bothering us. Sure, they just became bicker fests, but it would usually come to where there needed to be a compromise on the situation...unless the issue involved these two. They would be in complete denial, or just try to change the subject or shift the blame. When blame wasn't transferrable, at least one of the two would then become agressive, trying to impose dominance by cocking a fist or something of the sort. Usually, this made the subject get dropped in hopes of calming the mood down, but in the end, it would just get swept under the rug. Over time, it has gotten to where we can't bring up issues with these two. We tried the middle-man approach, where if I had a problem with my bassist, I'd ask my other guitarist to mention to him that I was bothered by what he did, in order to make it be conveyed with a little less attitude. The response became "whatever" and no remorse was shown. By the way...these two are the oldest members of the group, one being in his early 30's and the other in his early 40's, yet both are fry heads because they have not matured past a partying high schooler's mental capacity.
So...it has, over several months, grown to where the 3 of us have decided to part ways with these guys. Since we can't bring up simple matters with them, we have been trying to decide how to conducively do this without it becoming a fist fight. We put the band on hiatus, mostly to try to have some time to formulate a plan, but it's come to when those two are asking "So when does our hiatus end?". All three of us just had kids this year, we all have constricting schedules. Having some time off has been helpful at home, but it will be inevitable when we have to pull the plug on our drummer and bassist.
So far, our plan goes as follows: Since we cannot 'point a finger' at either of these guys without it going south, we decided we'd place the weight on ourselves. The plan is that the three of us quit in succession, leaving those two by themselves. Then, a few months down the road, when we feel the time is right for us, we come back with n00bz in thier place, album recorded and ready to go, all the works. I came up with the band name/logo/merch/myspace/bookings/etc and our other guitarist wrote 75% of the music with me writing the rest...so the rights go to us anyways.
The idea isn't that we are afraid of them, or at least I'm not...I just don't want to fight. If it came down to fisticuffs, then I guess thats where it goes...but I'm more or less trying to avoid that to be mature.
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Does anyone think this is just plain silly or would you do it the same given you experienced the same situation? Any input is appreciated.
