Metal

Dead_Lioness

Dead_Lioness

Godless
May 31, 2002
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Arlington, Virginia
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Are you genre challenged?
Maybe this can help you along your way to metal expertise...

HEAVY METAL
The protagonist arrives on a Harley Davidson, kills the dragon, drinks some
beers and fucks the princess

GRIND METAL
The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for
about 2 mintues and then leaves...

POWER METAL
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon,
saves the princess and they make love in an enchanted forest

TRASH METAL
The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princes and fucks
her....... easy and quick

FOLK METAL
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins,
flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (from all
the dancing) protagonist leaves without the princess

VIKING METAL
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe,
cooks and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals the castle and burns
the place before he leaves

DEATH METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her,
then leaves

BLACK METAL
The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in the
front of the castle.....then sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in a
ritual before killing her.....then he impales the deflowered princess

GORE METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in the front
of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her....then he fucks again her
dead body, slashes her belly open and eats her guts, fucks the carcass for
the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time

DOOM METAL
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks that he
never could beat him, gets depressed and commits suicide....the dragon eats
his body and the princess as well

PROGRESIVE METAL
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo for 26 minutes, the
dragon kills himself out of boredom, the protagonist arrives to the
princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques learned in the
last year of the conservatory... the princess escapes, and is now looking
for the "HEAVY METAL" protagonist

GLAM METAL
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets
him enter, he steals the princess' make-up and tries to paint the castle in
a beautiful pink color

INDUSTRIAL METAL
The protagonist arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes an obscene gestures
towards dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by security guards.
 
And what if the dragon got F'd?

Dead_Lioness said:
Are you genre challenged?
Maybe this can help you along your way to metal expertise...

HEAVY METAL
The protagonist arrives on a Harley Davidson, kills the dragon, drinks some
beers and fucks the princess

GRIND METAL
The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for
about 2 mintues and then leaves...

POWER METAL
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon,
saves the princess and they make love in an enchanted forest

TRASH METAL
The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princes and fucks
her....... easy and quick

FOLK METAL
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins,
flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (from all
the dancing) protagonist leaves without the princess

VIKING METAL
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe,
cooks and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals the castle and burns
the place before he leaves

DEATH METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her,
then leaves

BLACK METAL
The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in the
front of the castle.....then sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in a
ritual before killing her.....then he impales the deflowered princess

GORE METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in the front
of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her....then he fucks again her
dead body, slashes her belly open and eats her guts, fucks the carcass for
the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time

DOOM METAL
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks that he
never could beat him, gets depressed and commits suicide....the dragon eats
his body and the princess as well

PROGRESIVE METAL
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo for 26 minutes, the
dragon kills himself out of boredom, the protagonist arrives to the
princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques learned in the
last year of the conservatory... the princess escapes, and is now looking
for the "HEAVY METAL" protagonist

GLAM METAL
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets
him enter, he steals the princess' make-up and tries to paint the castle in
a beautiful pink color

INDUSTRIAL METAL
The protagonist arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes an obscene gestures
towards dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by security guards.
Click to expand...
 
Dead_Lioness said:
Are you genre challenged?
Maybe this can help you along your way to metal expertise...

GLAM METAL
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets
him enter, he steals the princess' make-up and tries to paint the castle in
a beautiful pink color

INDUSTRIAL METAL
The protagonist arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes an obscene gestures
towards dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by security guards.
Click to expand...

now thats fucking hilarious.... true.... but hilarious
 
VIKING METAL
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe,
cooks and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals the castle and burns
the place before he leaves


Yeah, pretty much. I like it. :tickled:
 
PROGRESIVE METAL
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo for 26 minutes, the
dragon kills himself out of boredom, the protagonist arrives to the
princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques learned in the
last year of the conservatory... the princess escapes, and is now looking
for the "HEAVY METAL" protagonist

You forgot to mention that the solo break is in an odd time signature, 12 odd time signatures for that matter
 
Hahhahhahah, winnar. Except (and you all knew I was gonna say something about the thrash metal one) it should be–

THRASH METAL: The protagonist guns down the dragon in a hail of automatic weapons fire, fucks the princess, and sneaks out after she falls asleep so his girlfriend won't find out and kick him out of the house.
 
Dead_Lioness said:
GRIND METAL
The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for
about 2 mintues and then leaves...
Click to expand...
more like 10 seconds...
Dead_Lioness said:
GORE METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in the front
of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her....then he fucks again her
dead body, slashes her belly open and eats her guts, fucks the carcass for
the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time
Click to expand...
winner.
 
Dead_Lioness said:
POWER METAL
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon,
saves the princess and they make love in an enchanted forest
Click to expand...

Oh come on, do you really think he would make love to the princess? Nah, he's gonna ride that unicorn horn until it falls off.
 
SPEED METAL
The protagonist arrives around dusk in shredded street clothes, flails his arms wildly, bludgeoning the dragon to death, then gives the princess one quick thrust and goes back to his pad where he passes out from speed and booze.

NU METAL
The protagonist shows up wearing a stolen suit of 'cool gothic' armor, sees how big the dragon really is, claims how the dragons in HIS realm are better, then gets laughed at and eaten by the dragon.

RAP
The protagonist shows up with a massive amount of backup... they all get burninated.

Edit these as you desire
 
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